Woke up painfully late yesterday morning; had to park on the side of the ramp in the parking lot connecting level -1 and level -2. Considered myself extremely lucky at this, still. Probably omen number one of the day from my surveilling entity.

I was a bit shocked to discover that 'Lalla' is working too: there she was in the changing room, eyes popping at me and ready to fire the first dumb thing that comes to her mind. I suppressed the urge to grab her from her tousled hair and bang her from wall to wall of the aforesaid changing room.

"So you are also working today!!", exclaims Lalla.
Yeah...why do we call that place 'work' in the very first place??

I ignored Lalla and started sensing her getting a bit sensitive at my lack of attention for her. I expected her to start talking with herself, mumbling in bass, and that's what she did. So predictable!

I chose the other stairway to avoid the crowd (and Lalla). I did so successfully.

Next psychotic case of the day: young lad deluded with ideas of elite and grandeur, whom I suspect is becoming increasingly obsessed about me. He has stuck this thing in his mind that he needs to 'care' for me. Could this be anymore suffocating and pathetic? He still tries to impress with his use of jargon and artificial behaviour, and I'm left utterly disgusted and homicidal. My mortido is soaring lately. Last pathetic act of this guy for the day: taking the 'victim' role and mentioning something about feeling 'used'. Indeed, my fingers are tingling to choke him.

Yeah I'm not perfect and I admit a couple of paranoid visions of my own. But I kept mine to myself, trying to put my insight at work on them. Thinking about these 'visions' led me to nowhere, as expected, since I don't have enough information. Although I did dispatch this: mistrust of a person is derived from past experiences, which could and could not reveal hints about current and future behavior. Moreover: I never heard of any womanizer or cheater who worked at eliminating his vices in real life. I'm almost sure that these kinds of men remain like this for the rest of their lives. And that I must keep my eyes open in this department. Again, my stomach feels revolting at something I cannot comprehend. Having been cheated and hurt had been utterly horrendous, degrading, painful, miserable, and humiliating, to name but a few adjectives. Why indulge in something like that????? For goodness sake. Why would I ever need to succumb to a womanizer in the first place? But for the sheer sake of it?

I found no better coping mechanism for the day other than spending my physical energy in a good run. Went running on a promenade late in the evening, near the sea. Felt ecstatic, and felt good to be myself and healthy and guilt-free.